What sales people say (and what they actually mean)
What sales people say (and what they actually mean)
New:
Has a different color than previous version.
Totally renewed:
Parts are incompatible with previous versions.
Exclusive:
Imported product.
Unmatched:
Aslmost as good as the competition.
simple design:
Extreme cost reduction on the production costs.
error free control:
configuration nor settings can be changed.
Advanced design:
the marketeers don't even understand the product.
finally available:
Rush job! Nobody knew it was coming.
tested on the road:
Producer has no testing equipment.
Direct sales only:
Major fight between plant and distribution.
after years of development:
It finally works.
Revolutionary:
the competition has something eles.
Break through:
We found a way to sell it.
Futuristic:
the only reason for the appearance.
Maintenance free:
impossible to repair.
Re-designed:
Previous errors were corrected (hopefully).
Proven performance:
Will function after warranty period.
Fulfills all standards:
Ours, not yours!
Solid construction:
incredibly heavy.
Multimedia:
It has an image and makes a sound.
High fidelity:
It functions long enough to sell.
New generation:
Last one failed, maybe this one works.
Unseen performance:
None of our other products we once sold functions like this.
controlled by microprocessors:
It does things we cannot explain.
Military components:
We found a bargain sale on a government auction.
New:
Has a different color than previous version.
Totally renewed:
Parts are incompatible with previous versions.
Exclusive:
Imported product.
Unmatched:
Aslmost as good as the competition.
simple design:
Extreme cost reduction on the production costs.
error free control:
configuration nor settings can be changed.
Advanced design:
the marketeers don't even understand the product.
finally available:
Rush job! Nobody knew it was coming.
tested on the road:
Producer has no testing equipment.
Direct sales only:
Major fight between plant and distribution.
after years of development:
It finally works.
Revolutionary:
the competition has something eles.
Break through:
We found a way to sell it.
Futuristic:
the only reason for the appearance.
Maintenance free:
impossible to repair.
Re-designed:
Previous errors were corrected (hopefully).
Proven performance:
Will function after warranty period.
Fulfills all standards:
Ours, not yours!
Solid construction:
incredibly heavy.
Multimedia:
It has an image and makes a sound.
High fidelity:
It functions long enough to sell.
New generation:
Last one failed, maybe this one works.
Unseen performance:
None of our other products we once sold functions like this.
controlled by microprocessors:
It does things we cannot explain.
Military components:
We found a bargain sale on a government auction.
L'ingénieur et la petite fille.
Un super-ingénieur se retrouve assis à côté d' une petite fille lors d' un
vol intercontinental.
L' ingénieur dit à la petite fille : "si on parlait un peu ensemble... il
paraît que les voyages se passent beaucoup plus vite si on parle avec
quelqu'un".
La petite fille le regarde et dit: " d' accord, de quoi voulez vous qu' on
parle ?".
L' homme dit : " Et si on parlait de physique nucléaire".
La petite fille lui répond : "Et bien ... un chevreuil, une vache, un
cheval mangent tous la même chose, de l' herbe... et pourtant le
chevreuil fait des petites crottes, la vache fait des bouses plates et le cheval de
gros boulets verts, comment expliquez vous cela ??? "
L' ingénieur pantois, réfléchit un instant puis doit avouer: "ma foi je ne saurais l' expliquer".
Alors, sarcastique, la petite fille lui dit : "comment voulez vous parler
de physique nucléaire alors que vous ne maîtrisez même pas un petit
problème de merde ."
vol intercontinental.
L' ingénieur dit à la petite fille : "si on parlait un peu ensemble... il
paraît que les voyages se passent beaucoup plus vite si on parle avec
quelqu'un".
La petite fille le regarde et dit: " d' accord, de quoi voulez vous qu' on
parle ?".
L' homme dit : " Et si on parlait de physique nucléaire".
La petite fille lui répond : "Et bien ... un chevreuil, une vache, un
cheval mangent tous la même chose, de l' herbe... et pourtant le
chevreuil fait des petites crottes, la vache fait des bouses plates et le cheval de
gros boulets verts, comment expliquez vous cela ??? "
L' ingénieur pantois, réfléchit un instant puis doit avouer: "ma foi je ne saurais l' expliquer".
Alors, sarcastique, la petite fille lui dit : "comment voulez vous parler
de physique nucléaire alors que vous ne maîtrisez même pas un petit
problème de merde ."
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